Eleven Things About Stranger Things

Stranger Things is the 80’s nostalgia acid trip that is capturing more viewers than Pokemon Go, so in total that is…carry the 1…roughly…yep, everyone.

So, never one to miss jumping on a band wagon I present to you eleven things about Stranger Things. Get it? No? Then piss off.

  1. Eleven is not a boy. You’d be forgiven for thinking it. Shaved head, slumped walk, diet of waffles and annoyingly vague. Millie Bobby Brown if you’re reading, I’m sorry and I think you and Haley Joel Osmont will make a beautiful double-barrelled couple.
  2. The budget for Christmas lights was extraordinary. It’s widely reported that Wynona Ryder worked for free such was her commitment to the project. In her words “Spirits turning the lights on and off to communicate? We’ve never seen that before. The world needs this”.
  3. The Upside Down is not actually Upside Down. Those of you thinking the laws of gravity would be reversed will be sorely disappointed. It’s actually just a colder version of the real word. Pack your jacket and you’re golden.
  4. Those aren’t Dustins real teeth. I’m sure you noticed this one. You’ll have taken one look and said there is no way he just lost his two front teeth. Well, you’re right. He actually he has no teeth due to a battle with drug addiction and the teeth used in the show are prosthetic. We wish you well in your battle, Dustin.
  5. The actors that portrayed the “kids” are actually adults. After discovering a small town where nearly all the residents suffered a Benjamin Button like disorder, the directors decided to put them to work. That’s why they look so at home in the 80’s, they lived them!
  6. Barb was a total badass. Yeah, you heard me.
  7. Eleven couldn’t float in ‘that’ water scene. To combat this, contrary to popular belief that they used Epsom salt, they simply inflated her with Helium. This was cost affective and her voice made everybody laugh for at least 3 hours.
  8. Eleven crushes a coke can in advertising wars. Whilst demonstrating her kinetic powers, Eleven crushes an empty coke can into smithereens. Harmless trick right? WRONG. After failing to match the bid of a rival soft drink, Stranger Things directors decided to ‘stick it to the man’.
  9. This isn’t a rip off of every movie ever made. Absolutely not. There are no references to E.T, The Goonies or Stand by me. Nor are there to Aliens, Minority Report, Carrie, Close Encounters of the Third Kind or The Evil Dead.
  10. No really, it isn’t a rip off. It doesn’t reference Firestarter, The Fog, Jaws, A nightmare on Elm Street, Poltergeist or The Thing.
  11. The creators came across the name Eleven by accident. Creators and twins, the Duffer brothers, were struggling to name our powerful heroine until one day a chance conversation made it all fall in place:
    Twin 1: What time is that girl getting here who is auditioning for the unnamed one?
    Twin 2: Eleven
    Together: OHH SHITT SON

And there you have it.

Eleven things that are 100%, certifiably, without doubt true about Stranger Things. If you don’t believe me, come find me in the upside down, I’ll be the one rocking parachute pants and a camouflage headband. Flipping you the bird.

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